Diction, Syntax and Credibility: Study Guide (English Language 8.2)

How words and sentences build a writer’s image

Readers form an impression of a writer within a few sentences. They do not only ask “Is this true?” They ask “Who is speaking? Can I trust this person? Do they respect me?” Writers answer those questions, often without realising it, through two kinds of choice.

• Diction is the choice of words.
• Syntax is the way words are arranged into phrases, clauses and sentences.

The course states two ideas that follow from this. First, a writer’s choices about syntax and diction influence how the writer is perceived by an audience and may influence the degree to which the audience accepts the argument. Second, word choice may reflect the writer’s biases and may affect the writer’s credibility with a particular audience.

That last phrase, “with a particular audience”, is important. Credibility is not a fixed quality of a text. It is the trust that this audience is willing to place in this writer.

Diction: what to look at

Aspect	Question to ask	Example
Denotation	What does the word literally mean?	“Child” and “juvenile” both name a young person
Connotation	What feelings and associations does it carry?	“Thrifty” (approving) versus “stingy” (disapproving)
Register	Is it formal, informal, technical, slang or literary?	“Commence” versus “start” versus “kick off”
Precision	Is the word exact, or vague and inflated?	“A 12 per cent rise” versus “a huge increase”
Loaded terms	Does the word smuggle in a judgement?	“Regime” versus “government”
Pronouns	Who is included or excluded?	“We” versus “you” versus “they”

Connotation is the most useful of these. Two words can describe the same behaviour and still tell the reader whether to approve of it.

Syntax: what to look at

Feature	Question to ask	Example effect
Sentence length	Long and flowing, or short and blunt?	Long sentences suggest reasoning and nuance; short ones, force or finality
Structure	Simple, compound, complex? Loose, periodic, balanced?	See Topics 7.4 and 7.5
Word order	Is anything inverted or delayed?	“Little did they know” delays and emphasises
Parallelism	Are structures repeated?	Builds rhythm and shows connection
Fragments and questions	Do they break the pattern?	Create emphasis or invite a response

Syntax affects the reader’s sense of the writer. Measured, well-built sentences can suggest a calm and fair-minded writer. Choppy, exclamatory sentences can suggest urgency or anger, which may fit a protest speech and damage an academic report.

Bias and credibility

Look at the same event reported in two ways (written by Marlbridge).

Version	Diction	Impression of the writer
A	“About two hundred residents attended the meeting and raised concerns about the plan.”	Neutral and precise; seems fair-minded
B	“A furious mob of troublemakers stormed the meeting to wreck the plan.”	Hostile to the residents; the loaded words (“mob”, “stormed”, “wreck”) reveal bias
C	“Two hundred brave residents rose up at the meeting to defend their homes.”	Sympathetic to the residents; the loaded words (“brave”, “rose up”, “defend”) reveal bias in the other direction

For an audience that is undecided, version A is likely to be the most credible, because it lets them judge. Versions B and C may be convincing to people who already share the writer’s view, but undecided readers may suspect that the writer has already decided and may discount the argument. A writer’s choice is therefore always a choice about which audience to win.

Public-domain examples

Syntax and pronouns: Frederick Douglass, 1852. In his 1852 address in Rochester, New York, on the meaning of the Fourth of July for enslaved people, Douglass told his audience: “This Fourth [of] July is yours, not mine. You may rejoice, I must mourn.”

The sentences are short and balanced, with the same shape on each side of the contrast: “yours, not mine”; “You may rejoice, I must mourn.” The pronouns divide the room into “you” and “I”, and the modal verbs mark the difference between permission (“may”) and necessity (“must”). The plainness of the diction (“rejoice”, “mourn”) makes the accusation unmistakable. The writer does not insult; he states, with controlled syntax, and that control helps the audience listen.

Diction and register: Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address (1863). Lincoln begins “Four score and seven years ago”. “Four score” is an elevated, biblical-sounding way to say eighty, and it gives the occasion solemnity. A modern, casual phrasing (“eighty-seven years back”) would have changed the register and the writer’s apparent attitude to the dead. The diction of “consecrate” and “hallow” continues the solemn religious register.

Worked example 1: diction and credibility

Task. Explain how the word choice in the passage below, written by Marlbridge, affects the writer’s credibility for an audience of readers who have not yet formed a view on a proposed wind farm.

“The proposed wind farm is yet another monstrous eyesore forced on our beautiful valley by faceless corporations who care nothing for ordinary people. Anyone with half a brain can see that it will ruin everything.”

Step 1: pick out the loaded diction. “monstrous”, “eyesore”, “forced”, “faceless”, “care nothing”, “half a brain”, “ruin everything”.

Step 2: say what the words connote. They carry strong disgust, villainy and insult. “Anyone with half a brain” directly insults those who disagree. “Everything” is an absolute (see Topic 7.2).

Step 3: say what the choices reveal. The writer’s bias is plain: hostility to the project and its supporters. The words are judgements, not descriptions, so little evidence is offered.

Step 4: evaluate for this audience. For readers who have not decided, the insult and overstatement are likely to signal an unfair or unreliable writer, so credibility suffers. For readers who already oppose the farm, the passage might confirm their feeling, but it would still not give them reasons.

Step 5: suggest a revision. “The proposed wind farm would place twelve turbines, each about 90 metres tall, along the ridge above the valley. Residents who value the view have reason to ask whether the energy gain justifies that change.” The revision uses precise diction and a calmer syntax, and it keeps the writer’s concern.

Worked example 2: syntax and perceived character

Task. Compare how the syntax of these two sentences, written by Marlbridge, shapes the impression of the speaker.

A: “We lost. We lost badly. There is no excuse, and I will not offer one.” B: “Although various factors may have contributed to the result, it would be fair to say that, on balance, the team’s performance was not what it might have been.”

Step 1: describe the syntax of A. Short, plain sentences; a repeated structure (“We lost. We lost badly.”); a final compound sentence in which a refusal (“I will not offer one”) is placed at the end.

Step 2: describe the syntax of B. One long complex sentence with a concessive opening, modal verbs (“may have”, “might have been”), a hedging phrase (“on balance”), and a double negative (“not what it might have been”).

Step 3: infer the impression. A suggests a speaker who takes responsibility directly and speaks with authority. B suggests a speaker who distances himself or herself from the result and avoids a clear statement.

Step 4: consider the audience. A frustrated fan group is likely to trust A and to be irritated by B. An official inquiry might expect more measured language than A, but would probably want clearer statements than B.

Conclusion. Syntax shapes the audience’s sense of the speaker’s honesty and authority, and the best choice depends on who is listening.

Common misconceptions

• “Diction means big words.” It means all the choices of words, including plain ones, and plain words can be the most effective.
• “Emotional words always lower credibility.” They do when they replace reasons or reveal unfairness; they do not when they fit the occasion.
• “Bias is always a flaw.” Writers have positions. The question is whether the word choice invites trust from this audience.
• “Syntax is just grammar.” In rhetoric it is a choice that shapes tone, pace and perceived character.
• “I can describe the words without commenting on the writer.” The analysis should link word choice to the impression of the writer and the audience’s reaction.
• “A formal register is always more credible.” Not for every audience; too much formality can sound distant or evasive.

Where this leads

Topic 8.3 widens the lens: writers choose evidence, organisation and language together, based on their understanding of the audience’s perspective and needs. Practise now with the practice questions, consult the revision notes and checklist, then read the Topic 8.3 study guide. For the sentence structures referred to above, revisit the Topic 7.5 study guide.