Evidence and Composition in a Prose Analysis: Study Guide (English Literature 4.7)

In Topic 4.6 you built the argument: a thesis, a line of reasoning and commentary. This topic is about the materials and the finish. Which evidence should you choose, how much is enough, and how do you make a whole essay hold together so that a reader can follow your thinking without effort? The skills are selecting and using relevant and sufficient evidence and controlling the elements of composition.

Evidence: relevant, sufficient and strategic

Relevant evidence bears directly on the claim you are making. A vivid detail that does not help the claim is decoration, and it distracts. Sufficient evidence is enough, in quantity and quality, to give your claim apt support. One thin quotation rarely carries a claim; a heap of quotations with no explanation does not either.

Writers also use evidence for a purpose. Evidence can be used to:

Purpose	What it does	Example from the weighing-house passage
Illustrate	Gives a concrete picture of the claim	“turning the brass weight a quarter-turn until the beam sat level” shows his careful method
Exemplify	Offers one typical instance of a pattern	The merchants who “distrusted one another trusted his scales” is one example of his authority
Clarify	Makes a difficult idea clear	His answer “I am exact” clarifies how he understands exactness
Associate	Links the subject to another idea	The simile of “two quarrelling nations” associates his work with diplomacy
Amplify	Increases or extends the force of a point	“as gently as a sleeping child” amplifies the tenderness of his care
Qualify	Limits or complicates a claim	“sorry when it is wrong” qualifies his claim never to be wrong

You do not need all six in an essay. The point is to ask of every quotation: What is this evidence doing for my claim? If you cannot answer, either cut it or find the claim it really supports.

Evidence is effective only when commentary explains the logical relationship between the evidence and the claim, as you saw in Topic 4.6. The work of choosing evidence and writing commentary is also recursive: you may find a quotation first and discover a claim, or form a claim and search for the best proof.

Choosing and trimming quotations

Three practical rules:

1. Quote the smallest phrase that proves the point. “like a man standing between two quarrelling nations” is better than the whole sentence, if the simile is your point.
2. Build the quotation into your own sentence. “Bartholomew stands ‘like a man standing between two quarrelling nations’, so his work is made to resemble diplomacy” keeps control with you.
3. Quote accurately. Copy words and punctuation exactly. If you cut words, use an ellipsis.

You may also refer to a detail by describing it (paraphrase) when the exact words do not matter, but your argument will usually be stronger where it comments on specific words.

Composition: coherence at three levels

Coherence means the parts of a text fit together logically. It operates at three levels:

• Within a sentence, the idea in one clause links logically to the idea in the next.
• Within a paragraph, the idea in one sentence links to the next.
• Across the essay, the ideas in one paragraph link to the ideas in the next.

Writers achieve coherence when the arrangement of reasons, evidence and ideas is logical. The usual tools are:

• Topic sentences that state the claim of the paragraph and link it to the thesis.
• Transitions: words (however, therefore, similarly), phrases (by contrast, as a result), sentences or even whole paragraphs that show how ideas relate.
• Repetition of a key term from your thesis, so the reader hears the argument continuing.
• Synonyms that vary expression without changing the idea.
• Pronoun reference that is clear: this, it and they should have an obvious referent.
• Parallel structure: matching grammatical forms for matching ideas.

A method: claim, proof, purpose, link

1. Claim. Write the paragraph’s claim in one sentence.
2. Proof. Choose one or two short quotations that support it best.
3. Purpose. For each, name what it does: illustrate, qualify, amplify.
4. Link. End by connecting the paragraph to the thesis and set up the next paragraph.

Worked example 1: choosing and testing evidence

Use the weighing-house passage from Topic 4.6. Claim for the second body paragraph: “Nell’s offer of exactness exposes a different idea of trust from Bartholomew’s, one based on being answerable.” Four candidate pieces of evidence:

Candidate	Relevant?	Purpose	Decision
“It will be quicker… It will be exact.”	Yes: it states the machine’s offer	Illustrates the competing value (speed and exactness)	Keep
“I am exact,” he said, without looking up	Partly: it shows his claim but not yet his definition	Clarifies his self-image	Keep a short phrase
“is sorry when it is wrong”	Yes: it turns exactness into responsibility	Qualifies “never… wrong” and redefines trust	Keep: essential
“his brown apron”	Not here: it supports an earlier claim about ritual	Illustrates routine	Cut from this paragraph

Sufficiency. One quotation (just “is sorry when it is wrong”) would show the idea but not the contrast with the machine. Two or three phrases that work together are enough: the machine’s “exact”, his “I am exact”, and his “sorry”. More would crowd out your commentary.

Draft sentence using the evidence. Nell’s promise that the machine “will be exact” sets accuracy against Bartholomew’s answer that what it “will not be… is sorry when it is wrong”, a phrase that quietly qualifies his own claim never to be wrong and moves the passage from the question of precision to the question of responsibility.

Notice the purposes: the first phrase illustrates, the second qualifies, and the commentary links them.

Worked example 2: revising for coherence

Here is a disjointed paragraph (written by Marlbridge for this exercise).

Bartholomew is trusted. The merchants come with grain and wool. There is a simile about nations. He turns the weight. The writer wants us to see he is important. He is very exact. This is shown in the way he is described.

Diagnosis.

• Sentence level: every sentence is short and unlinked.
• Paragraph level: no topic sentence; the claim (“he is important”) appears near the end and is vague.
• Evidence: named but not quoted or explained (“There is a simile about nations”).
• Pronoun reference: “This is shown in the way he is described” has no clear referent.
• Coherence: ideas are listed, not linked.

Revision.

Bartholomew’s authority rests less on his accuracy than on the restraint with which he exercises it. The merchants “distrusted one another” yet trusted his scales, and the writer shows why by placing him “like a man standing between two quarrelling nations, saying nothing”. The simile raises a shopkeeper’s task to something like diplomacy, while the phrase “saying nothing” shows that the peace he keeps depends on his silence. Consequently, the trust placed in the scales is really trust in a person, an idea the rest of the passage develops.

What changed.

• A topic sentence states the claim and links to the thesis theme.
• Short, precise quotations replace vague references.
• The transition “while” joins two ideas in one sentence; “Consequently” shows cause and links forward.
• Key terms (trust, trusted, authority) repeat so the reader hears one argument.
• The pronoun problem is gone: “The simile” names its referent.

A last check before you finish

When you reread a draft paragraph, run through five quick questions. They take less than a minute and catch most weaknesses.

1. Does the first sentence make a claim that supports the thesis, or does it only announce a topic?
2. Can I say what each quotation is doing (illustrating, qualifying, amplifying and so on)? If not, cut it or change the claim.
3. Is the commentary longer than the quotation and does it say something the quotation does not?
4. Do my sentences point forwards and backwards, with a transition or a repeated key term, so that no sentence stands alone?
5. Does the last sentence connect to the thesis or set up the next paragraph?

If the answer to any question is no, revise that part first. Revision matters in the exam too: a few lines spent on a missing link in the final five minutes can matter more than a new paragraph.

Common misconceptions

• “More quotations means better support.” Evidence is sufficient when its quality and quantity provide apt support, not when there is a lot of it.
• “A longer quotation is safer.” Long blocks hide your own thinking and make accurate comment harder.
• “Transitions are decoration.” They show the relationship between ideas; choose them for meaning (contrast, cause, addition).
• “Repetition is always a flaw.” Deliberate repetition of a key term builds coherence.
• “Naming a device is evidence.” “There is a simile” points at evidence; the evidence is the words, with commentary.
• “The essay is ready when each paragraph has a quotation.” Check each paragraph’s link to the thesis and to the next paragraph.

Where this leads

This topic completes the writing pair of Unit 4. Test yourself with the practice questions, keep the revision notes close and tick off the checklist. Then check your whole unit with the Unit 4 diagnostic and move on to Poetry II, starting with Topic 5.1.